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Meral Prewitt

Meral Prewitt Regional Coordinator Southwest

Tanya and Teddy
April 2008

By Meral Prewitt, Regional Coordinator and Team Leader

Realizing the difference that can be made for a child from resources provided by our Adopt A Social Worker Program, many congregations develop long lasting relationships with their social workers.  I am grateful for these steadfast volunteer social workers, liaisons, and congregation members who are committed to helping children.  With remarkable Liaisons Kristy Macoy and Marilyn Henry coordinating the abundant generosity enthusiastically provided by members of First Congregational Church in Fairfield, it is no wonder they are a perfect example of a congregation that has continued to renew their covenant with us year after year.  Their dedicated, adopted social workers, Marianna and Charlotte Schmid, who happen to be sisters and both work for DCF Bridgeport, have remained adopted for over twelve years.  They have often shared with me the kindness children have received from members of this church and how their giving has impacted the children they care for. 

One of the many collections Ms. Macoy and Ms. Henry orchestrate at First Congregational is the collection of items for emergency placement packs which are used by the social workers removing children from unsafe homes.   Along with the essential items needed such as toiletries and clean socks and t-shirts, Charlotte’s large-hearted Congregation members include small, soft toys or teddy bears in their packs.   Charlotte described a home visit where she recently saw one of these bears from a pack she had given to a young girl over 12 years ago. 

Tanya (not her real name) was one of the first children Charlotte helped as an investigative social worker with DCF.  Charlotte had to remove Tanya and her four siblings from their home due to their mother’s physical and mental illnesses.  Unfortunately, Charlotte was not able to place all of the children in the same home.  Therefore, at six years old Tanya was placed in foster care, separated from her mother and her siblings.

The emergency placement pack Charlotte gave to Tanya contained a teddy bear.  This teddy bear, given by First Congregational Church members, became Tanya’s friend that night, providing the closeness and comfort she desperately sought as a frightened child suddenly placed in new surroundings with people she didn’t know.  After Charlotte placed Tanya, her investigative responsibilities ended.  During the years that passed, her case was carried by a treatment worker who helped Tanya through her childhood as she struggled with her own mental health and spent several years in psychiatric facilities.

Last Christmas Charlotte went out to investigate a report called in to DCF about a mother suspected of not giving proper attention to her baby.  When Charlotte arrived at the home she saw a woman of 20 with a beautiful, chubby, baby boy. Charlotte recognized Tanya immediately but Tanya did not know who Charlotte was.  Charlotte described the scene in the small apartment and said it was only a one room apartment and Tanya didn’t have much.  First she established everyone was safe and then Charlotte told Tanya she had met her before.  Somewhat withdrawn and suspicious of Charlotte, at first Tanya did not believe or trust that Charlotte had known her as a child. Then Charlotte noticed the teddy bear sitting on the couch next to Tanya.  It was a ragged, old bear which looked like it had survived many years of hugs while being carried from place to place.

When Charlotte told Tanya she had been the social worker to give her the teddy bear it was a real break through. Tanya began to trust her and she opened up and talked about her lost years and she asked many questions about her past and her family.  She had no photos of her mother, who died before reaching the age of 30.  The only thing Tanya had from her past was that teddy bear.

Luckily, Charlotte was able to locate some photos she had taken of Tanya as a child which she gave Tanya on her next visit.  Tanya was so thankful for the only photos she would ever have.  When Charlotte told me this I couldn’t help but reflect about the many children who are never adopted like Tanya and have no photographic history of their lives.  I thought of how lucky my own son is for the many pictures I have taken of him as he has grown from a baby to a 16 year old.  Recently, I made a photo collage of him with friends and family which I framed and hung in his game room.  He and his friends enjoy looking at it and remembering.  Except for the few photos Charlotte provided, Tanya will never have pictures to help her recall how she or her siblings or her mother looked.  No photos exist of any experiences she had growing up.

Thank goodness for wonderful people from the many churches who participate in our program like First Congregational of Fairfield and their thoughtful liaisons and members who recognize how tough growing up can be for children at-risk who experience losses they cannot replace.  Some children are not allowed to experience play time and have no happy memories of feeling the closeness and bonding a family and friends would provide.  If they are not adopted or returned to their natural parents they may be shuffled through various placements and remain in the system until they are 21.

When Charlotte informed her liaisons about Tanya and her baby, bags of gifts from church members came pouring in for her.  Charlotte proudly took everything to Tanya who accepted everything with tears of joy and said she had never been spoiled like this in her life.  It was like the whole church had given her a heartfelt hug.

During one of her visits Tanya told Charlotte of her hope to eventually go to college but for now she must concentrate on getting the necessities for herself and her child.  Although Tanya will continue to struggle to live on $543 a month, Charlotte established she is giving love and proper care to her baby and she was able to close Tanya’s case.   

At the end of Charlotte’s final visit with Tanya, they exchanged a long look with each other.  Charlotte felt Tanya’s shyness and knew she didn’t know how to express all the hurt and confusion she had locked inside for so long.  Tanya said simply, “Thanks for helping me,” and then she turned to her sleeping baby and gently placed the soft, love-worn bear next to him saying, “Here’s my friend.  Teddy’s always been there for me.  Now he’ll be there for you."                                                                               

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