A Message from Patience Quinn
Reach One Youth Mentoring Program Coordinator

Mentoring: We are on this journey together!

Customarily I use this space to highlight an outstanding mentor or to remind us of the folks who may have mentored us, sometimes without knowing it, as we were growing up.  This month I am going to try something new – take a chance – and tell you about a brand new match and include quarterly updates on their progress, adventures and relationship-building over time.

Chastity (Mentee) was referred by her mother in the fall.  I wasn’t so sure this teen was in need of a mentor.  She lived in a two-parent household.  Both parents are employed; own their home and education seems to be the number one priority in this very busy household.  Chastity has three older sisters, all in college and working at the same time!  Even Chastity’s step-Dad is going to college and working full time!

So, when I arranged to meet and interview Miss Chastity for the first time, I didn’t feel she was the ‘at risk teen’ that our mentoring program targets.

After spending nearly three hours with Chastity at her home after school one day, I came to understand that Chastity had experienced some serious hurts and upheaval in her life.  Her household was busy, too busy to focus on the needs of Chastity.  Her family was working and going to school and not together much under the same roof at the same time!  Chastity is on her own a lot of the time.  Chastity’s biological father is incarcerated; she rarely sees a younger half brother and sister living out of state, and she seems unsure about her own sexual identity.  Chastity wants to write a book of poetry and she knits on occasion.  She enjoys sports, music, plays and going to the movies.  

I met Judie (Mentor), last spring, at her church in Shelton.  She was the person who showed interest early on in the Reach One Youth Mentoring project after my presentation that Sunday morning.  She filled out the application, submitted three references that attest to her good character and put up with a lengthy home visit/interview.  Judie remained committed to becoming a Mentor and began six hours of training on three different evenings in her church’s basement.  Judie grew up in a household where there wasn’t a father present and a mother “who worked like a mule” to keep the family together. Judie works full time and sees her closest friends (some of whom go back to her childhood) at least once a month.  She brought a lot of wisdom, experience and common sense to the table.  After all, Judie has raised seven children!  She has also mentored in the public school system.  Judi is a voracious reader and expert knitter!  She enjoys the movies and an occasional trip into the ‘Big Apple” for a Broadway show.

So, the big day arrived: December 12, 2007 at four o’clock and I am introducing Judie to Chastity to see if they’d like to be matched for one year!  I am excited, nervous and hopeful (this feels like a cross between an adoption and an ‘arranged marriage’ to me) – will they like each other?  Does Chastity’s Mother like Judi?

Was Chastity expecting someone younger?  Does Judi think this is too far to drive every week? Will Chastity’s Mother feel pushed aside or replaced in some way?  I am keeping all these thoughts to myself, no point in making everyone else neurotic!                            

Oh my goodness, they seem to like each other – Chastity’s Mom is happy and gracious.   Each one of us commits to supporting this mentoring relationship for one year!  Judi (Mentor) and Chastity (Mentee) agree to meet for a trip to the local mall (to shop with some gift cards received at Christmas), enjoy a nice lunch with ample time for interesting conversation.  Judi tells me that they will either go to the movies next week or a student photography exhibition at Fairfield University.  It’s a start!